Wedding planning – a timeline from wedding dress to wedding day

The order, the schedule and the numbers that determine how big the wedding will be.

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We have just got engaged – where do you start when planning a wedding and finding the wedding dress?

Start with three numbers: number of guests, budget and season. Those three numbers decide almost every choice you make afterwards. Then book the venue, because the date follows the place. The wedding dress, flowers and cake come later and become much easier to choose once the framework is in place. When you get there, you can use our guide to finding your dress.

How long should you allow for planning a wedding, and when should the wedding dress be found?

Twelve to eighteen months is the usual time for planning a wedding. That is not because of the amount of work, but because the venue, the minister and the photographer have to be booked early. The tasks themselves can be done in a few months. If you are late, look for a weekday or the off-season. The wedding dress does not need to be first on the list, because with us you can take it home the same day. Read more in our questions about buying a wedding dress.

What should we book first for the wedding – venue, photographer or wedding dress?

The venue should be booked first, because it decides the date. Then the minister or the marriage authority, so the date is secure, and then the photographer, who can only take one wedding that day. The wedding dress can easily come last. With us, every dress hangs ready in the shop and can be taken home the same day. If you have questions about timing, write to us via the contact page.

Is it possible to plan a wedding and find a wedding dress in six months?

Yes, a wedding can easily be planned in six months if you are flexible with the date. Choose a Friday, a Sunday or a month outside the high season, and both venues and suppliers will be available. Cut back on what takes time: fewer guests, one menu and no homemade decorations. The dress is not a bottleneck, because you can take it home the same day. See our wedding dresses you can take home straight away.

Do we need a wedding planner, or can we handle everything ourselves, from the venue to the wedding dress?

Most Danish couples plan their wedding themselves. A wedding planner is worth the money in three cases: if you are getting married abroad, if you have more than a hundred guests and no time, or if the venue is empty so everything has to be hired in. If you do not need help with the whole process, a coordinator for the day itself may be enough. You can easily find the wedding dress yourself, ideally with one or two people you trust. Get more tips in our blog on wedding planning.

What does a toastmaster do at a wedding, and should we have one so I can enjoy the evening in my wedding dress?

Yes, a toastmaster is a good idea for most weddings. The toastmaster welcomes everyone, keeps track of the order of speeches, announces when the food is coming and when the bridal waltz is to be danced, and looks after the guests who have prepared something. It is the cheapest way to become guests at your own wedding. If you are changing from your wedding dress into a party dress during the evening, agree the timing with the toastmaster. Choose someone who can address a whole room. Also read our questions on wedding etiquette.

Our guest list is far too long – how do we cut it down so there is also money for the wedding dress?

Split the guest list into three lists: those you cannot get married without, those you would like to have there, and those you invite out of duty. Draw a line after list two. Use a rule you can say out loud, for example no colleagues, so it does not become personal. Remember that each guest costs 400-3,000 DKK, so every guest fewer frees up budget for the wedding dress or the photographer. See more money-saving tips in our questions on price and budget.

Should every wedding guest be allowed to bring a plus-one, including the friend helping me into my wedding gown?

No, not every guest needs to bring a plus-one, and it is perfectly normal to say no. The usual rule is that established couples are invited together, while single guests are invited alone unless they do not know anyone. If a friend has promised to help you into your wedding gown and with the train on the day, inviting her partner is a kind gesture. Write the names of those invited directly on the invitation, so there is no doubt. If you are asked, give everyone the same answer. More on this in our questions about invitations.

Can we have a child-free wedding without seeming rude, and still have little flower girls walking behind the wedding dress?

Yes, a child-free wedding is perfectly fine and is becoming more and more common. Write it clearly and kindly in the invitation, for example that you are looking forward to an evening for the grown-ups. Say it early so parents can arrange childcare, and say it to everyone. If you want children at the ceremony but not at the party, write exactly that. If little flower girls are to walk behind the wedding dress at the ceremony, they can easily be an exception as long as you say so clearly. See also our questions about invitations.

When should we send out the wedding invitations, and does the wedding dress need to be found first?

Send out the wedding invitations two to three months before, and earlier if guests have to travel or take time off. If you have sent a save the date, the invitation can come a little later. Include the date, time, place, dress code, reply deadline, whether children are invited, and how people get home. The wedding dress does not need to be found before the invitations go out, but the dress code should suit the style you have chosen. That information saves you fifty messages in the weeks before. Find more tips in our questions about invitations.

Is it necessary to send a save the date before the wedding, even if I have not found my wedding dress yet?

A save the date is a good idea if the wedding is on a weekday, during a holiday, abroad, or if guests have to travel far. That way they have time to get time off and book tickets. It only needs the date, the town and a note that the invitation will follow. You do not need to have found your wedding dress before sending it, as it is only about the date. Send it six to twelve months before, and only to those who will actually be invited. Read more in our questions about invitations.

What is the latest guests should reply to the wedding invitation, so I have peace for the wedding dress in the final weeks?

Set the reply deadline two to four weeks before the venue needs the final numbers, typically six to eight weeks before the wedding. Write a specific date, not "as soon as possible". Expect to call five to ten guests after the deadline; it happens every time. Make a spreadsheet with names, replies, allergies and seating, so you have everything in one place. With the replies sorted in good time, you will have more peace for the last things, such as the wedding dress fitting and the hairdresser. You will find more tips in our questions about invitations.

How do you make a wedding seating plan so everyone has a good time and there is room for the wedding dress?

Start the seating plan with the couple and the parents, and build outwards from there. Seat people together who have something in common, not just those who already know each other, and mix the families a little. Place older guests away from the speakers and families with children near the exit. If the wedding gown has a full skirt or a train, give the couple a little extra room at the table. Make the plan on paper or in an app where names can be moved, because it will change many times. Read more about wedding etiquette.

What food is typically served at a Danish wedding, and what should I watch out for in my wedding dress?

Three courses is the classic choice at a Danish wedding: a starter, a main course with meat or fish, and a dessert or kransekage with coffee. Buffets are becoming more common because they are cheaper and because guests get up and talk to each other. A late-night snack, such as sausages or soup, keeps the party going. Be careful with red wine and dark sauces in your wedding dress, and keep a napkin handy. Ask about allergies in the invitation. See more ideas on our wedding blog.

What does a wedding cake cost, how can we save on it, and can it match the wedding dress?

The price of a wedding cake is often set per guest, so it follows the number of guests, and a tiered cake with decorations costs more than a simple one. Ask the venue whether there is a fee for bringing in a cake from outside, as there sometimes is. If you want to save, choose a simple cake for the cake-cutting photo and an ordinary dessert for the guests. Even a simple cake can echo the wedding dress, for example with lace or the same flowers. More money-saving tips are in our questions on price and budget.

Should we have kransekage at the wedding, or is it old-fashioned, and how do I avoid stains on my wedding dress?

Kransekage (a Danish ring cake) is the Danish wedding tradition, and many guests expect it, especially older ones. The couple often cut the kransekage together, and according to tradition the cake predicts something about the couple's future. Keep the sleeves of your wedding dress away from the cake when you cut it, as icing easily leaves marks. If you want both kransekage and another cake, have a small kransekage for the tradition and another cake for dessert. Read more about Danish wedding traditions.

Should we choose a band or a DJ for our wedding party, so I can dance all night in my wedding dress?

A DJ is cheaper, plays everything and keeps the dance floor full all night. A band gives an experience the guests remember, but takes breaks and has a narrower repertoire. Many choose a band for the first hour and a DJ afterwards. Either way, give the musicians a list of five songs you want to hear and five you do not. If you cannot dance wildly in your wedding dress, ask for a few calmer numbers in between. Get more party ideas on our wedding blog.

How do we choose the right song for our first dance, and should I practise in something similar to my wedding dress?

Choose a song for your first dance that you actually enjoy listening to, not just one that sounds romantic, because you will be hearing it every year. Check the length: over four minutes is a long time to dance alone, but a DJ can fade it out. One rehearsal at home is enough, ideally in your shoes and a long skirt similar to your wedding dress, so you can feel how much room you have. Listen to all the lyrics, as that is where people get surprised. Find more inspiration on our wedding blog.

When is the bridal waltz danced, and what are the traditions around it when I have a long wedding dress?

The bridal waltz is traditionally danced before midnight. The guests stand in a ring around the couple and slowly move closer while you dance, and afterwards the groom is lifted up so his socks and trouser legs can be cut. Agree the timing with the toastmaster and warn the photographer, because it goes quickly. If you want to be able to dance freely in your wedding dress, read about bustling the train.

What do wedding flowers cost, and where can we save when the bouquet has to suit the wedding dress?

The price of wedding flowers depends on quantity and season. Flowers in season are far cheaper than imported ones, and greenery fills a lot of space for little money. The bridal bouquet, buttonholes and table decorations are the three fixed items; the rest is optional. It is the bridal bouquet that has to suit the wedding dress, so save on the table decorations instead. Venue, food, drink, photographer, music and flowers together typically make up 50-60 % of the whole budget. Read more in our questions on flowers and decorations.

When should you order the bridal bouquet from the florist, and should it suit the wedding dress?

Order the bridal bouquet two to three months before the wedding. Talk to the florist earlier if you want particular flowers that are only available for a short season. Bring a photo of your wedding dress so the florist can see the shade and size, because a large bouquet in front of a slim dress hides the whole bodice. Also agree who will collect the bouquet in the morning. More tips are in our questions about flowers.

How many bridesmaids or flower girls is normal at a Danish wedding, and should their dresses suit the wedding dress?

Two or three bridesmaids is usual in Denmark, and they are often children from the family. The more bridesmaids, the more they need managing, and that takes time away from you on the day. Give one adult responsibility for them all day. If the bridesmaids are to wear matching dresses, agree early who pays, or it becomes an awkward conversation. Their dresses can easily pick up a colour from the bouquet instead of matching the wedding dress. Read more tips on wedding etiquette.

What should the groom wear next to the wedding dress – a suit or white tie?

A suit is the usual choice for the groom in Denmark today, while white tie is mostly used at very formal evening weddings. Choose according to the wedding dress and the venue: a simple dress in a garden suits lighter colours and no tie, while a big dress in a church calls for navy or black. Have the suit tailored, it matters more than the price. Read more in our questions for the groom.

Should the groom's outfit match the wedding dress, or is it enough that they go together?

The groom's outfit should go with the wedding dress, not match it. If the dress is ivory, avoid a bright white shirt, because the difference shows clearly in photos. If the dress is simple, keep the suit simple too. Let the buttonhole flower and pocket square tie in with the bouquet. If the dress is to be a surprise, show him a photo of the fabric or the back. More advice is in our questions for the groom.

How do we write the dress code in the invitation so guests understand it and nobody looks like the wedding dress?

Write the dress code in words the guests understand, and give an example. Festive wear, dark suits or summer smart say more than an English code that half the guests will have to google. If the party is outdoors on grass, say so, so nobody turns up in stilettos. If you want to be sure no one arrives in something that resembles a wedding dress, write kindly that white is reserved for the bride. Feel free to add a few pictures to your wedding website; that answers most questions. See also our questions for wedding guests.

Can you wear black as a wedding guest, or does it draw attention away from the wedding dress?

Yes, you are welcome to wear black to a wedding. Black is no longer reserved for funerals, and a black dress is perfectly fine for an evening party. Make it festive with jewellery, shoes or a colourful wrap, so it does not look severe. If the wedding is outdoors in the middle of the day, a lighter colour works better. The only rule that still applies is to avoid white and cream, so no one can be confused with the bridal gown. Read more in our questions for wedding guests.

How do we make a wedding gift list, and can a garment bag for the wedding dress go on it?

Make the gift list online with a shop or in a shared document, and put the link on your wedding website or in the invitation. List gifts in several price ranges so everyone can find something. Make sure items that have been bought are marked, so you do not get three of the same thing. Even a good garment bag for storing your wedding dress afterwards can easily go on the list. If you have everything you need, say so and suggest something else, because guests like to give something. Read more about wedding etiquette.

Is it all right to ask for money instead of gifts when the party and the wedding dress have already cost a lot?

Yes, it is fine to ask for money instead of gifts, and it has become quite normal, especially when the couple have lived together for years. Word it kindly and give a reason, for example that you are saving for the honeymoon or a house. If the party and the wedding dress have already eaten into your savings, that is an honest reason too. Do not mention an amount. Give an account number or an envelope option, and say that guests are welcome without a gift. Read more about wedding etiquette.

Who gives speeches at a Danish wedding, in what order, and can the bride speak in her wedding dress herself?

Traditionally the bride's father gives the first speech, followed by the groom, the bride's mother or the best man, the bride herself if she wishes, and finally the guests. The toastmaster keeps track of the order and hands over the floor. If you want to speak yourself, stand up so your wedding dress is also in the photos of the speech. Tell the toastmaster who has signed up, and set a maximum of five minutes per speech. Spread the speeches between the courses, not all before the main course. See more about wedding etiquette.

Which month is best for a wedding in Denmark, and what does it mean for choosing a bridal gown?

June, July and August give the longest and lightest evenings in Denmark, which is why they are also the most expensive and first-booked months. May and September have pleasant weather, lower prices and enough light for photos. October gives beautiful colours and warm light, but the sun sets early. Let the month guide your choice of wedding dress: light fabrics suit summer, long sleeves and heavier fabrics suit autumn. No month is free of the risk of rain, so always have a plan B. Read more in our questions on season and weather.

How big is the risk of rain on our wedding day in Denmark, and how do I protect my wedding dress?

The risk of rain is high enough that you should plan for it, whichever date you choose. Denmark has rain in every month, and a dry day cannot be ordered. See it as a task: find a place where people can go indoors, buy matching umbrellas, and decide no later than the day before which plan applies. Lift the skirt of your wedding dress when you walk across wet grass, and keep a towel handy. Then rain becomes a detail rather than a crisis. Read more about season and weather.

How do you have a beautiful wedding on a small budget and still get a lovely wedding dress?

Cut the number of guests, because each guest costs 400-3,000 DKK, and that is the item that moves the most. Choose a weekday or the off-season, and go for a buffet, seasonal flowers and a simple cake. Spend the money on the photographer and the dress instead, because those are what remain. Our wedding dresses start at 1,000 DKK. See our cheap wedding dresses on sale.

I am drowning in wedding planning – how do I avoid stress, including around the wedding dress?

Make a timeline with dates instead of a long to-do list, and give each month two tasks. Delegate three tasks to people who have offered to help, instead of saying you are fine. Decide early what does not matter to you, and let it go. Bring only a few people when you try on wedding dresses, because lots of opinions make the choice harder. Also keep one evening a week when the wedding is not mentioned. Find more good advice on our wedding blog.

Our families disagree about the wedding – how do we handle it, including when it comes to the wedding dress?

Decide as a couple what is not up for discussion, for example the guest list and the wedding dress, and tell both families the same thing. Give the family something to decide where it does not hurt: a song, a speech or a task on the day. If someone is paying for part of the wedding, agree in advance what that gives them a say in. Let each of you talk to your own family. Read more about wedding etiquette.

Who pays for what at a modern Danish wedding, for example the wedding dress?

In Denmark today most couples pay for most of the wedding themselves, while the parents give an amount or pay for a single item, for example the food or the wedding dress. The tradition of the bride's family paying for everything has largely disappeared. Ask early and directly what the family would like to contribute, so the budget is based on real numbers. Read more in our questions about price and budget.

What should we have sorted the day before the wedding, and how should the wedding dress be hung?

The day before the wedding, the wedding dress should be hung up so the creases drop out. Put shoes, underwear, veil, jewellery and rings together in one place, and pack the emergency kit. Drop the decorations off at the venue if you have access, and send the timeline and phone contacts to the photographer and toastmaster. Eat properly and go to bed early. Anything that can be done two days before should be done two days before. See also what to do if something goes wrong on the day.

What does a typical Danish wedding day look like, hour by hour, from the moment the wedding gown goes on?

A typical Danish wedding day starts in the morning with hair, make-up, putting on the wedding dress and detail photos. Around midday there is the ceremony, followed by congratulations, group photos and a drink for the guests. In the late afternoon the couple photos are taken while the light is good. In the evening there is dinner with speeches, cake, the bridal waltz before midnight, dancing and a late-night snack. Leave some breathing space between the items. Read more in our questions about wedding photographers.

Should we reserve hotel rooms for guests travelling from far away, and where should the wedding dress spend the night?

Yes, do reserve a number of hotel rooms with a deadline, but let the guests book and pay themselves. Put names, prices and the distance to the party in the invitation or on your wedding website. If the party is in the countryside, this matters more than you might think, because otherwise people leave early. Also remember a room for yourselves close to the venue, so the wedding dress can hang safely when the party is over. Read more in our questions about transport.

Who organises the hen or stag party, and when should it be held in relation to the wedding dress and the rest of the plans?

The best man, maid of honour or friends organise the party, and the bride or groom should not be involved in the planning beyond saying what they do not want to take part in. Hold it two to six weeks before the wedding, not the week before, so there is time to recover. Do not put it on the same day as an appointment for your wedding dress either, so you do not have to rush. Say clearly no to things you do not want. Find ideas for the party on our wedding blog.

Should the honeymoon be straight after the wedding, or can we wait, and who looks after the wedding dress in the meantime?

The honeymoon does not have to be straight after the wedding, and many couples wait a few months or until next summer. The advantage of waiting is that you can save up, and that you do not have to travel the day after a sleepless night. Take two quiet days right after the wedding instead. If you do leave straight away, agree who will take the wedding dress home from the party. Check your passport and name if you are changing your surname. Read more in our questions about life after the wedding.