Culture and faith – ceremony, traditions and the colour of the wedding dress

Danish customs explained, and how two cultures can have space on the same day.

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Do we have to be members of the Danish National Church to marry in church before I choose a wedding dress?

Yes, at least one of you must be a member of the Danish National Church to marry in church. If neither of you is a member, you can have a civil wedding and perhaps a church blessing later. If one of you is a member and the other has a different faith or none, it is usually not a problem, but the priest decides. Call the parish office and ask; it is a short conversation. Sort it out before you choose your wedding dress, as church or town hall can affect how long and formal the dress should be. Read more in our FAQ on weddings and the law.

Can we have a church wedding if we have different faiths, and can I wear the same wedding dress to both ceremonies?

Often yes, if one of you is a member of the Danish National Church, but the priest decides in each case. Talk to the priest early and explain how you each feel about faith, as the priest can adapt the wording of the service. Some couples choose a civil wedding followed by two ceremonies, one for each family, and that is a perfectly normal solution too. If you hold two ceremonies, you can easily wear the same wedding dress to both or change into another dress for one of them. See our FAQ on weddings and the law in Denmark.

How do we combine a Muslim ceremony with a Danish wedding party, and when should I wear the wedding dress?

Most couples split it in two: the nikah in the mosque or at home with the family, and a civil ceremony at the town hall, which is the one that is legally valid in Denmark. The party can be held the same day or on another day. Many wear traditional dress for the ceremony and a white or coloured dress for the party, and the party dress need not cost much. If you want covered arms, see our wedding dresses with long sleeves.

Can you hold two wedding parties – a traditional one and a Danish one – and have a wedding dress for each?

Yes, many families hold two wedding parties, often on two days or two weekends. It gives both families room to celebrate the wedding the way they know it, instead of squeezing one tradition into the other. Budget for both parties from the start, and be honest about the guest lists. Two dresses need not cost double, because our wedding dresses start at DKK 1,000. See our cheap wedding dresses.

Why do brides in some cultures wear red instead of a white wedding dress?

Brides in China and India, among other places, wear red because red there stands for luck, joy and prosperity, while in some of the same cultures white is traditionally associated with mourning. White as a bridal colour is actually fairly new in Europe too; it only became common in the 1800s. If you want both colours, there are wedding dresses with a red underlayer or a red ribbon that only shows when you move. Read more in our FAQ on style and silhouette.

Which wedding traditions from abroad are often seen at Danish weddings, and how do they work with the wedding dress?

At Danish weddings we see many traditions from abroad: crowns and ribbons from Greek and Orthodox ceremonies, henna the evening before, a money dance where guests pin notes to your clothes, guests throwing rice or flowers, and couples breaking something for luck. If notes are to be pinned to the wedding dress, agree beforehand where they may go so the fabric is not damaged. Tell the venue and the toastmaster what will happen and how much space it needs, so the programme runs to time. Find more ideas in our FAQ on inspiration.

Which wedding traditions are typically Danish and worth knowing about before I choose a wedding dress?

The typically Danish wedding traditions are the bridal waltz before midnight, when the guests form a circle around you, and the sock cutting, when the groom is lifted up and has holes cut in his socks. Then there is the kransekage, the arch of honour that neighbours or family put up, wedding songs set to well-known tunes, and guests kissing the bride when the groom leaves the room. If your wedding gown has a train, have it bustled for the bridal waltz so no one treads on it. Choose the traditions you actually want. Read more in our FAQ on etiquette.

What is an arch of honour, and is it a good spot for photos in the wedding dress?

An arch of honour (æresport) is a decorated arch of spruce branches and flowers that neighbours, family or friends put up at the entrance to your home while you are at the ceremony. Tradition says it should stay up until it falls down by itself. You should not make it yourselves, and ideally you should not know it is coming. If you have been given one, take a photo in front of it while you are still wearing your wedding dress. Read about more Danish customs in our FAQ on etiquette.

Why do you put a coin in the bride's shoe, and can it be seen under the wedding dress?

A coin in the bride's shoe is an old tradition for luck and prosperity: traditionally a silver coin in the right shoe from the bride's father and a gold coin in the left from her mother, so she will never want for anything. Today most people do it as a fun detail. Under a long wedding dress nobody will see the coin, so it can easily be your own little secret. You can feel a coin in your shoe all day, so put it under the insole or take it out after the ceremony. Find the right shoes in our FAQ on bridal shoes.

Why do people cut holes in the groom's socks and tie, and can it affect the wedding dress?

It is a Danish prank with an old explanation: the holes in the socks show that the groom now needs someone to darn them, and the pieces of the tie were sold to the guests so the money went to the couple. The sock cutting happens at the end of the bridal waltz, when the groom is lifted up. Ask the guests to keep the scissors away from the wedding dress when they gather round you. Do not use his good socks, and put out a spare pair. See more tips in our FAQ for the groom.

Why is the bride lifted up in her wedding dress when the groom leaves the room?

The real tradition is a different one: if the groom leaves the room, the men may kiss the bride, and if the bride leaves the room, the women may kiss the groom. In some places it has turned into the bride being lifted up or stood on a chair. If you stand on a chair in your wedding gown, hold on to the skirt so you do not step on it. If you do not want it, tell the toastmaster before the party starts, as it is the toastmaster's job to keep it from happening. Read more in our FAQ on etiquette.